About time, gentleman please
21 May 2004. Inspired by .
Everyone's favourite tipple Lisa has it right: the studies of the Social Research Issues Centre are both exhaustive and hilarious. Alright, so most of the laughing in Kate Fox's Passport to the Pub is done at the fate of hapless tourists:
"Research findings: In observation-studies, we timed first-time tourists to find out exactly how long it would take them to discover the no-waiter-service rule. The fastest time - just under two-and-a-half minutes - was achieved by a sharp-eyed American couple. The slowest – over 45 minutes – involved a group of six young Italians. This group did not, however, seem particularly concerned about the apparent lack of service, being engrossed in a lively debate about football. Sympathy should go to the French couple who marched out of the pub, complaining bitterly to each other about the poor service and British manners in general, after a 24-minute wait."
And
Don’t ever introduce yourself. The “Hi, I’m Chuck from Alabama” approach does not go down well in British pubs. Natives will cringe and squirm with embarrassment at such brashness. If your introduction is accompanied by a beaming smile and outstretched hand, they will probably find an excuse to get away from you as quickly as possible. Sorry, but that’s how it is. The British quite frankly do not want to know your name, or shake your hand – or at least not until a proper degree of mutual interest has been well established (like maybe when you marry their daughter). You will have to adopt a more subtle, less demonstrative approach.
I didn't realise that observing tourists in pubs could be a job. For the rest of us, it's just a hobby. She also doesn't have it wrong with this one:
"The bar counter in a pub is possibly the only site in the British Isles in which friendly conversation with strangers is considered entirely appropriate and normal behaviour."
Makes me proper homesick, it does. I wonder if they'll translate her book into Catalan? And in the meantime, do you think someone should forward the pub advice on to the newly-Londoned Cory before he dies of thirst?